The Darkest Place on Earth

My cat died today, I had to get rid of it....

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 23:31:20 GMT

It wouldnt fit....

Passive Aggressive Bullshit

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 20:39:25 GMT

It was like a Lincoln log was lodged in that special place and made A tear roll down my face as i felt the biggest contraction in my asshole ever on record, which is why we dont go to Don Pablos anymore.

Why is A Fucking Bee on The Screen

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 17:31:09 GMT

His name is Hector

So this time i thought we'd try it with a broom stick...

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 05:29:46 GMT

I have to inform all of you that playing with lighters while drinking gasoline is not a healthy or recomended recreational activity, unless your those guys from the circus, crazy big dudes blowin' fire everywhere....yea

It does that every 1 out of 4 Cds

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 00:51:19 GMT

Do you know what i do to 1 out of 4 people? I KILL THEM
-Jon

I got a Hairspray Suppository With you name on it...

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 20:49:07 GMT

EXCELLENT

Who Wants a Dose of the Clap?

The half eaten sausage would like to see you in his office

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 20:43:32 GMT

Im A Wet Dream War Machine.

Hey Priest With a Sexually Transmitted Disease, Get out of my bed.

Gluing Carpet to your genitals doesnt make you an antelope

We shall call him, Macy, King of Mid -Michigan Forest

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 20:40:33 GMT

Does anyone want to donate 20 Dollars? I just decided that im deaf and i need the money to get one of thsoe dogs that help you walk.

Addicted to Eating Bottle Caps (Not the Candy)

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 20:31:29 GMT

The only problem is, when its time for those aluminum suckers to come out of my body, it feels like the razorblades of a thousand depressed emo kids slicing my asshole. But dont Worry, I recycled them. So the next time u crack open a beer, if the bottle cap has hair, DONT DRINK IT!

Haha Sweet Revalation

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 06:33:01 GMT

If i were to stick this cheerio in my ear, then people could call me old man cheerio, god that would be the shit.

Whos up for some Poetry?

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 06:10:30 GMT

The Silenced Duckling by Nick Baranowski

Dear Dear Ducking,
Your beautiful Shiny Beak,
It makes me want,
To take a leak,

You follow your mother to the store,
Where you buy,
A duckie Whore,

You take her home with you,
back to the Dock,
And have your way with her,
With your duckie Cock,

But Oh Mr. Duckling,
You do not Take notice to,
the truck Barreling ass,
Down the Road at you,

And so this duckie has no happy ending,
For Karma is a Bitch,
And your body is left suspending,
Above the swamp in a tree,
For the Truck Hit you and you flew with no glee,

And as your little duckie body lies wasted in the air,
I think to myself,
Fuck Im gonna shave that duckie,
And eat his hair.

Thats Like a Human Ejaculating on an Ant

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 06:17:43 GMT

jolygreengiant22: well shit on my tits
jolygreengiant22: shit on my tits
jolygreengiant22: ill be wheelman
jolygreengiant22: you guys do the dirrrty

Dont float above me when im diving into the ABYSS

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 03:55:41 GMT

Float away from me, float away....

Is it right for that racoon to eat that turkey?

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 04:35:21 GMT

CANADA ROCKED OUT WITH ITS COCK OUT

RACOON

+

TURKEY

=

TONY DANZA SLAP!!!

Note to self...penis will not fit in cat's Earlobe

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 03:49:11 GMT

So its 3 a.m, and the band decides to call a 1-800 number, swere sitting there next to simon, and say "hey, lets call chinese". God dam, im warning you now, dont ever call 1-800-Chinese unless u wanna hear a bunch of screaming chinese ladies.....GROSS

Fuck this you win Grandma its 4 a.m

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 01:08:25 GMT

Like mike is coming back to check it out...

Have you seen this man?????

They Should have called it Slip and Bleed From the Anus....

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 01:07:15 GMT

He was like that guy from silence of the lambs...remember? he tucked it in you kno......

Canada tomorrow, hopefully will get some good footage of the group doing stupid shit.

You got a purdy mouth...Squeel like a piggy boy

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 04:52:06 GMT

I Just want the chinaman who peed on my rug....

Dam chinamen.....

Dam Rich Labowski....

Dam Naked Chick....

SHUT THE FUCK UP DONNIE!

They Found Him 3 Days Later, Resurected him, and took his Dignity.....

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 04:36:09 GMT

Garfield Never saw them coming with the electric razor......God dam you Marlon Brando.....you and your cat shaving fetish....

Poor Garfield....yea thats right i said it.....POOR!! He was broke, the TV show hit rock bottom,

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 04:32:37 GMT

Poor Fucking Kittie....I hate thou Soft Fur and Small Fecies....Die Beast of the North

Looking to turn my piss to wine

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 04:23:12 GMT

Girly Girly Of Purple Nurley
Do thou love my shiney fur....ly?
Doth thou have thou urge to masichate?
Or shall i have to watch the dog Masturbate?
Thy Rythm is fierce and i want to pierce
your face with a wooden spoon...OLAY!

Not Funny Little Boy

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 04:17:16 GMT

Yes it Was

They made me believe nothing happened, but i kno what happened, because even they knew what happened when it happened on that hot November evening, When the chickens arose from the ground, and i recieved a large triangular object in my Lateralus.

I Think I Just Swallowed Nemo

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 04:10:51 GMT

Say Hello To The Happiest Man on earth, he hearts you....

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 21:55:16 GMT

these little shits have gone too far, their trying to sell cereal over the internet? What kind of paralyzed Shit would buy CEREAL ONLINE?????? I think im gonna order me a box of SHUT THE FUCK UP!

So I got this Lump.....

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 21:52:24 GMT

Look inside for details

How do they get the cereal into the box and not be tempted to eat it? i see those little golden delicious motherfucking lucky charms and i cant resist? How do they make those little suckers? Maybe some farm catches ducks and waits for lucky charms to fall out of their asses or something..